I'm drive I can fine osifer
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
