You're earring is so big in my mouth
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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