I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
