I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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