I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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