Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
