Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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