is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
