Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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