I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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