so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
