I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
