i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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