Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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