omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize