I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
