Where did you get a picture of my penis
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize