There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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