Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
