Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
