Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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