oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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