spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
