Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
