HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
