That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize