But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
