absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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