My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
