If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
