I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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