why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
