I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
