hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
