I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
