i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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