I think im going to throw up on grandma
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
