Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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