my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
