If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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