maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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