hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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