I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
