based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
