We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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