last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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