So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
