so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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