Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
