just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
