A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
