Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
