Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
