I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
