why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
