those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
