Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wish I only lived at night.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
