Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
