So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
