You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
