He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
