Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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