Michael Bay diarrhea
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
