I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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