hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
