Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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