cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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