Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
