I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
