youre lurking in front of me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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