You made me cry and you don't even care
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
