Having a random hookup so left but love u
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
