I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
