I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
