worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
