it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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