Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
should my penis look like a turkey
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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