Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you will always have a special place in my vag
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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