I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize