hotel room ftw
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
