I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
