What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
